New Stewardship Campaign

Posted: December 6, 2010 in Uncategorized

Here’s another entry from my church funny bin.  I must confess that my carnal nature things this is crazy enough to work.

The Lord’s Lottery

Theological Basis: ‘As a man winneth so will he giveth.’ Hez 6:15

Purpose: The ‘ BLT’ ( bottom line theory) is to get more money to find its way into the offering plates on Sunday mornings.

Plan: Three simple steps to explosive giving:

When the ushers bring the offering plates to the altar the pastor will place all the offering envelopes in a big round tumbler on the altar.

One of the deacons will step forward and draw out one of the offering envelopes from the big round tumbler on the altar.

The ‘winner’ (person or family whose offering envelope is drawn) will receive DOUBLE THEIR MONEY BACK!!

Benefits: Fee-nominal!! Listed below are some of the outstanding benefits blessings (if you serve a ‘spiritual’ congregation) from this ‘Lord’s Lottery Sure Fire Stewardship Program’

  • More and more members will begin using offering envelopes.
  • When you make the offering envelopes available only to members you will be astounded at how your membership will grow.
  • Members will naturally put in more money because they know that if their envelope is drawn they will get more back (never underestimate the intelligence of your members).
  • Your worship service will reach new heights of excitement. You can imagine the excitement and drama each Sunday as the winning envelope is drawn.
  • You will have no trouble lining up deacons because of the excitement, honor, and prestige that comes with the job.
  • Your finance committee will never again have to worry about buying those expensive offering envelope boxes. When this new program catches on members will be more than willing to buy their own. You will also discover that many will buy more than one set of envelopes. I call this the ‘bingo syndrome.’
  • Pastors will no longer have to work quite so hard on their sermons as that will no longer be the ‘main event.’
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Comments
  1. Can I come and join your church? 😉

  2. Yea, this one is one of my faves from my humor folder. Again, part of me wonders if the Football Boosters can do a 50/50, why can’t we?

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